Assalamualaikum..
Hye people. Finally, the test week was over. I started to have a room for myself. More or less. Busy with fyp but still interested of doing something else instead of fyp. Haih. :/ anyway, that's not a reason for me for updating my blog. Well, it can be predicted kot. I only writing when I have a problem, or something that I need to share. Well who cares.? it's mine anyway.
Today, I've realized that I am still the old me back in the high school years. The one who always cry because of others. I thought I've grown stronger but it just my body that has undergo the teenager adult phase. My heart, was always the same like before. The fragile heart. Always crying because of other people and the part that I hated so much, is the part where I cried because of a girl. It may sounds funny, but for me. I am a loser.
With the feeling of a loser, I walked back home. My weak feet told me to stop, take a sit and cry as loud as I can. But my heart feels that, I need to go back. Hug someone, with a warm arms and voice that will make me cry and at the same times make me feel relief. As I walked, I remember those days. When I suffered the same thing, crying over and over again because of the same things. I've asked myself, why did it happened that way.? Am I that kind of bad person who really need to be treated that way.? it is really funny and fun to make people cry.? that you still can have a enjoyable chats and laugh while the people besides you crying.? or that is the way of you treating your friend of whom you claimed to be bestfriend.?
Well, if that's the way it is.. that I will be gladly to step back from the best friend title and rather be alone. it dont really matter because I am always alone. There's only a few of persons who I can always count on them and always be with me for my up and down. I dont need much but I am blessed to have them. Today also was the day that I've realized, maybe the reason I always cry because of other people is that I care so much. Till the things that they hurt me with, can make me cry and torture myself. So maybe I should care less for other people and put less effort for them. So that, I, myself will be happy and be more stronger than before.
Till then, goodnight and cheers. :)
